Vanuatu the happy isles.  I was fortunate to holiday in Vanuatu this July.  Fortunate because I had the opportunity to be amongst the people of Vanuatu – Ni Vanuatu- to go into their homes, eat their food, participate in family functions such as birthdays, observe their customs and to be taken by the family to visit their gardens up in the bush and to visit other areas of importance to them.
What struck me throughout was the behaviour of their children.

On our first day on Santo we attended a double birthday party. Following the plane trip from Villa we arrived at approximately 8pm to a large welcoming group.  Everyone including the children waited for us to arrive before commencing the function. Welcoming speeches were made then food was served. By this time it was after 8:30. The many children in attendance sat patiently, watching shyly full of smiles during the speeches and as we the guests were fed first.  Now I have to say that had these been my mokopuna, they would have been bored, hungry, whinging, probably arguing crankily with each other and all in loud voices. Not so these Ni- Vanuatu children ranging in age from pre-school to teens they sat quietly until directed to the table where they lined up with their plates and waited to their turn.
Over the next two weeks I realised that this behaviour was not the exception but the rule. I also realised that I did not hear one adult yell or put down a child nor smack, hit or scold them.  If a child cried or became upset or demanded attention (only observed in pre-schoolers) the nearest person, adult or another child would quickly cuddle them and talk soothingly. The children were curious and when I was not in conversation with an adult they would ask lots of questions always respectfully, always graciously. Much in the same vein as they were treated by their wider family.
So why do children, who are raised in an environment that does not smack nor yell, or feel the need to discipline children, behave so impeccably.  I suspect some of that is to do with role modelling, the whole community taking responsibility, societal norms even perhaps their lack of exposure to the violence that our children are subject to daily on television, in the words of modern song, in put downs and yelling. Whatever the reason I am assured children behaving well is common to a number of societies around the world. Finding the reason why children in some societies behave well would potentially make an excellent research topic.